the most useless superpower is the power to sit around thinking up new superpowers

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The ability to de-carbonate soda

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The power to teleport randomly anywhere on the planet, once every hour

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The power to hear people from across the globe, make people move with your own mind, and the ability to make people disappear from the Earth. Ladies and Gentleman, I call it MMORPG!

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the power to produce shampoo out your eyes

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The power to make dad jokes.

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the power to win any shit eating contest.

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The power to die at will.

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The power to grow your own armpit hair at a rate of 1 ft/day, and change its color at will.

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The power to always know what the time is, but not without a clock

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The power to grow your toenails, but only one at a time.

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The power to make a pointless superpower.

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The power to emit contagious yawns.

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the power to fly while under water

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The power to die spontaneously, and have no one notice

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The Power To Make Someone Cry A Single Tear, Once A Day,

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The power to be a really good bowler, but only with a bowling ball that has the skull of your dead father embedded in its center.

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The power to grow the most sexy tits ever. (If your a straight man)

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The power to be arrested for crimes you did not commit

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The ability to read a doctor's handwriting

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The power to make it so legions of turtles submerge from the world seas in order to fight for the death in your name to save your ass whenever you are in trouble. Moral: Uh thanks for coming turtles... yeah I remember when I needed you 20 years ago... But thanks really...

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The ability to breathe in space,but only when there's oxygen

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The power to watch a movie without falling asleep through most of it

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The ability to see everything in black and white.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!