The power to deep throat a giraffe!

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The power to fly to your In-Law's house and ONLY your In-Law's house.

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The powers to know every martial art ever when your neck is broken.

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The power to sleep anytime your tired

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The power to make everyday Christmas once a year

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The power to walk twice as fast as a guy who walks half the speed you normally have.

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The power for shampoo to never go in your eyes, but only when its Johnsons No More Tears.

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The power to have 21/20 vision.

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The power to read this text unless you can see it.

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The ability to de-carbonate soda

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the power to produce shampoo out your eyes

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the power to absorb gamma radiation, but no resistance to radiation poisoning.

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the power to turn on anything by saying every digit of pi near it.

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the power to win any shit eating contest.

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The power to be an exceedingly homosexual man and be constantly surrounded by sexy women.

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The pointless superpower to make any situation awkward.

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The power to talk like Batman perfectly, but only at really serious moments.

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The power to die when touching any form of light

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The power to magically create a shampoo bottle in your hands but only when you're on the toilet

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Apathy for the world. (Don't stop believing.)

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the power to finally find your way out of a revolving door.

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The power to die spontaneously, and have no one notice

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the power to be infinitely constipated

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The power to shit brix, No wait.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!