The power of love

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The power to poop anytime you want to.(technically its an okay power cause when you need to poop you could poop in another time). so my friend thought of one and he said: The power to die anytime but you still get old and you get to be like a 200 hundred year old man/woman and have the capability of their age so basically just die when your 90.

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The power to grow giant, sharp and needly painful dildoes out of any surface just by sitting on it.

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The power to jump super high, without landing ok.

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The power to be away from the Internet without getting bored.

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The power to have super strength, however when you use it you instantly become paralyzed.

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i remember coming up with one once, the ability to flash step, like teleportation, but it uses up the same amount of wear and tear on your body(and clothing/footwear) and stamina as if you walked a straight line there (say you were Stepping to the top of mount everest, the same amount of physical exhaustion and bodily wear and tear as if you tilted the earth, laid a flat board to the summit, and walked across it, and untilting the earth, all in an instant). where the only convenience obtained is time saved, but there would also be the issue of being constantly exhausted, the near limitless amounts of food needed to be consumed, and the constant need for sleep would make this power essentially useless except for convenience, you COULD say this is similar to stopping time, but with far more limitations, as its only used for moving from one place to another

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The power to transform money into cow eating chickens

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the power to turn into a dead person

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The ability to talk to snakes but only if you have a lightning bolt scar on your forehead.

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The power to accept the terms and conditions

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The ability to select which ad you want to be shown on any website, but only once per day.

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The power to turn Justin Bieber into a Man.

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The power to be a virgin forever.

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The power to kill someone instantly; but you can only kill one person: yourself.

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The ability to pickle cumbers at an accelerated rate

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The power to turn into Justin Bieber.

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The power to have consensual sex with any dog of your choice.

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the power to see the present.

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The power to read people's minds, but only in the voice of Gilbert Gottfried

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The power to snore.

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power to poop out of you mouth and eat through your.... you know

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The power to start gasping for air seconds after touching a keyb... then to die from hyperventilation seconds after using your mou...

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the ability to die once you have died

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!