power to poop out of you mouth and eat through your.... you know

thumb_up thumb_down -51

The ability to not drop anything ...when you're not holding anything

thumb_up thumb_down +84

The ability to be in fashion.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

The power to understand irony.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

the ability to travel forward in time at the speed of regular time

thumb_up thumb_down -483

The helpers... early days part 3!: Shitfixer: What color is your poo? Hmm.. you should eat more vegetables.., You need someone to fix your toilet? Try calling Batman... Batman: Yes? Are you retarded? Dense or something? Of course I repair toilets and install showers! I am the goddamn Batman! The Pope: The less people use condoms, the more children we can bang! I really hope nobody finds out our secret reason for banning condoms or stuff... AMEN! Moral Man: People are gonna try crush me for the last one, they gotta find me first though... and I kill and eat Zealots (and pussy) for breakfast... and its nearly breakfast so please come by.. only 100 at the time though, I have limits too you know... although some still think I am perfect... sigh...

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Alzheimers man, the ability to show up where you are needed but forget why you are there in the first place

thumb_up thumb_down -29

The power to have all the powers 3 seconds before you die.

thumb_up thumb_down +235

The power to travel back and forth in time by pressing your left elbow against your right armpit. It really works! Try it!

thumb_up thumb_down +113

The power to make a watch that functions as a small phone and is named after a fruit. I would call it Applewatch.

thumb_up thumb_down -627

The power of not ever being able to pee indoors

thumb_up thumb_down +28

The power to finish right before you start (If you know what I mean)

thumb_up thumb_down +111

The power of attracting lightning to your body, but not being imune to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

The Pickle Touch- That is, the power to pickle any object by merely touching it.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

the power to run at the speed of light, but you have no protection from the air friction so you'll burn up and die.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

The power to see any woman naked, but only if she's wearing to clothes...

thumb_up thumb_down +103

The power to have explosive diarrhea when people are looking at you.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

The power to teleport to any 3rd world country

thumb_up thumb_down +106

The ability too pass SOPA but not ACTA.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

The power to think up really funny pointless superpowers.

thumb_up thumb_down +103

The ability to be jealous of tom watts like jack moore

thumb_up thumb_down +123

The power of sensing someone's sneeze before it happens

thumb_up thumb_down -62

The power to turn on electronic devices without pressing the switch, but only when you're touching the switch.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

The power to throw-up purple cheese curds on command, but you are also allergic to purple cheese curds?

thumb_up thumb_down +116

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!