The power to change your position whenever you want. (I don't mean teleport I mean you can lay down while sitting or stand up while laying down)

thumb_up thumb_down +90

That F-ucking ass hole that keeps typing morals all the time, he is F`n annoying! Moral: You thought I was a hater eh? Hahaha got you there ;) And if that is not the most pointless pointlessity in the world, then... I give shit about thumbs ups really, they just discovered that I have an bad allergy to dust, and thus I have been unable to work out for TWO YEARS! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! Me so happy, me love you long time. That is what women usually say to me, instead that they change the happy with horny... and replace you with someone else`s name. Self Irony... such a delight... and maybe I am lying... who knows... who wants to know? Nobody? :( sob... excellent! :D Damn CATCHPHRA! I SWEAR I USED TO HAVE A KITTEN THAT WAS TWICE THE SIZE OF TEXAS!

thumb_up thumb_down +82

the ability to turn purple

thumb_up thumb_down +188

the ability to increase your debts in the bank.

thumb_up thumb_down +156

THE SUPER FRIENDS HEROES LEAGUE OF SUPER HEROES OF LESSER USEFUL HEROES! KNIGHT FARTSALOT!: Fear my methane! You and me in one small room for 3 days and you will faint for sure! Uncle Diabeetush: Save their parents Captain! Ill take care of their children! Captain Novolin: I have great sugar level control! Help me! Evil Mistress Sugarpie is too sweet! Runald MagnifiCient Donalds: HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR WOOOOO! I keep American people from starvation! Remember kids less than 250 pounds counts as starvation! And their LEADER... MORAL MAN!: The hell am I introducing myself here for? Damn you Subconscious! How can you expect people to understand my genius of putting myself here! They are morons! Oh... hi everybody.. wazzup?

thumb_up thumb_down +123

The power to jump .000000000000000000000000001% higher.

thumb_up thumb_down -349

The power to be hungry without eating a Snickers bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

the power to only have to go to the bathroom once a year but smell like poop the whole year.

thumb_up thumb_down -619

The power to fell pain 3 minutes after it happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

the power to automatically turn into a litlle girl when you see pedobear.

thumb_up thumb_down +137

The power to die whenever you fall asleep

thumb_up thumb_down -99

the power to turn anything into candy but u r diabetic

thumb_up thumb_down +196

The power to turn gold into silver.

thumb_up thumb_down +2,540

The power to be invulnerable while sleeping

thumb_up thumb_down +63

The power to have anything you want that is free.

thumb_up thumb_down +117

power to permanently shrink one eye.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

The power to be an artistic genius during a math test.

thumb_up thumb_down +97

The power to pee after drinking lots of water

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The power of being invincible, except when a life-threatening situation develops.

thumb_up thumb_down +97

the power to guess anybodies breakfast

thumb_up thumb_down +116

the power to flick a coin and get heads 50% of the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +115

the power to jizz money

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Each time to show up on daily live TV each time you are masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

The power to shrink smaller than oxygen molecules.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!