The ability to shoot a banana from your eyebrow every time you are riding on a unicycle.

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The power to finish anyone's sentience.

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......................................... delayed reaction man

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The power of eating from ears.

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The power to predict what time it will be in 1 minute.

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The power to give anyone a Kim Jong-un haircut.

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The power to shoot a man before throwing him out of a plane.

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The power to make your family act like total rednecks but only in front of your girl/boyfriend.

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The power to magically summon a knife at a gunfight. Moral: "A knife in a gunfight is pretty good when the guns run out of ammo"

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To call me maybe

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The power of fork-throwing. This includes large pie servers, spoons, and basically any other utensils that are not knives.

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The power to realize that at least half of the top ten "powers" are yours, and you don't know if you are proud or ashamed of having so little to do... On the bright side, you don't sign them like some other douches...

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The power to change your urine to any color

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The power to bleed every month for 3-5 days a month.

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The ability to turn on your computer with your mind,but only if you're 2 inches away from the button.

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The power to charge your iPhone if it is not an iPhone

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The power to recite 1,000 digits of pie, but only when you need to say the Fibonacci sequence

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The power to eat carrot cake, then die 12 seconds

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the ability to extinguish a fire on your testicles with an ice pick.

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The power to eat food a little faster. So when you are done you have to just stay there for 5 more minutes for everybody to finish

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the power to teleport to the nearest pedophile's bedroom

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The power to throw chess pieces mildly accuratly,

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The power to iron your clothes with your mind before putting it in the washing machine

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The power to cook pop tarts really fast

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!