Now you can stop the time for half a second, while walking against a strong wind.

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the power to rule North Korea

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The power to touch your toes

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The power to have any pussy you want but only to magically transform it into a small bloody hairy wrinkled dick with herpes and AIDS when you touch it and there is nothing you can do about it.

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The power to piss your pants when ever a vowel is pronounced.

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Behold! The ability to taste water!

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The power of superspeed.... when your running backwards

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The power to think of food

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The power to always choose the broken condoms without knowing

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The power to tell when someone last masturbated, but only by shaking their hand.

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the power to fart terrible gas

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The power to get raped at will

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The power to eat just 1 Lays potato chip

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The ability to sweat money.

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the power to shout and make people piss their pants

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the power to drive well and see (applies to asians)

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The ability to hear a tree falling in the woods when there is nobody there to hear it.

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The power to make anyone even on live tv such as news or sports to explosively crap their pants.

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the power to fall off of a cliff and live... in hell

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The power to make one's skin very bumpy.

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The power to convert Dr. Pepper into Mr. Pibb.

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the power to cry from drama movies but only when theres no girls around you.

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Captain Colorchart - instantly able to choose the right color for any room

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The power to shoot off your clothes at any moment while using your hands and feet

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!