The power to turn things in to wood

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The power to live,but only when you are dead

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The power to make vegetables horny.

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The power to look at Sun.

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The power to be scared shitless and run around like a retard for about 100 minutes.

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The power to break your bones on command.

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The power to see when your eyes are not closed.

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The ability to clean

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The ability to dehydrate yourself at will.

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The ability to make someone's heart stop, but only after they have died on their own of natural causes

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the power to be forever alone

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The power to control the weather, but only in space

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The power to look angry when not trying too and everyone else notices it and im just lonely.

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The power to always choose the broken condoms without knowing

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The power to time travel. Backwards. To the Holocaust

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the power to speak in sign language.

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The power to make someone see your smile slightly whiter

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the ability to fly- but only indoors

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The power to be away from the Internet without getting bored.

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the power to type without looking at the keyboard

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The power to get older every second

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the power to fail any test you want

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The ability to turn everything to gold; as long as the original material is gold.

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The helpers... early days part 3!: Shitfixer: What color is your poo? Hmm.. you should eat more vegetables.., You need someone to fix your toilet? Try calling Batman... Batman: Yes? Are you retarded? Dense or something? Of course I repair toilets and install showers! I am the goddamn Batman! The Pope: The less people use condoms, the more children we can bang! I really hope nobody finds out our secret reason for banning condoms or stuff... AMEN! Moral Man: People are gonna try crush me for the last one, they gotta find me first though... and I kill and eat Zealots (and pussy) for breakfast... and its nearly breakfast so please come by.. only 100 at the time though, I have limits too you know... although some still think I am perfect... sigh...

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!