The power to propel urine at the top speed of the animal you most recently thought of.

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The ability to laugh like tickle me elmo

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The ability to have no abilities.

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The power to die when you die

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The ability to create pointless super powers

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the power to die when you breath oxygen

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the power to charge your phone anywhere, but only when its fully charged.

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The power to kill yourself.

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The ability not cry while cutting onions, only after hearing the news that a family member has just died

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The power to turn on the TV with the remote

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The power to watch grass grow

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The power to be impressed by Sham-Wow

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The power to confess crimes you haven't committed.

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The power to get the bullet every time you play russian roulette

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The ability to go to the time and place where you are going to die.

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The ability to swim on dry land only when submerged in dry water.

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Laser pointer vision.

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the power to fly but only on a plane

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the power to steal 4 avocados in july at a supermarket at 9:37 am in your underpants without arms while a cop laughs at how stupid you look. plus while you do that a cute marshmallow comes and rapes your children.

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The power to change the channel with your mind, but only to the Weather Network.

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The power to change from a normal human to a normal human than die.

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The power to jump only one centimeter high.

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The power to be a human for 1 second once a month.

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To stab Djones

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!