the ability to think of pointless superpowers

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The ability to perform crippling blowjobs on your enemies, but as soon as you finish you are teleported (in the same position) randomly to a crowded part of Russia.

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The power to increase the loudness of a crying baby.

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The power to light things on fire with a match

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The power to shoot water out of your hands--but only when taking a shower.

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The ability to make your fingernails grow an inch whenever you like, but only on a Tuesday

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the power to predict the past

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The ability to Transform into an active grenade

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The power to simply walk into mordor

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The power to cure cancer, but cause death by radiation poisoning.

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The power to diffuse bombs when no bombs are present

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Super strength, but when nobody is watching, (including you)

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To survive listening to James Blunt

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the power to eat your computer mouse while its on this site

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the power to shit shards of glass

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the power to have the most dangerous but most awesome power in the universe but not know how to use it

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power to blow out candles with you arse

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The power to sit anywhere

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The power ro make a spring onion apperar out of thin air

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Batman

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power to see through glass doors

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Alzheimers man, the ability to show up where you are needed but forget why you are there in the first place

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The power to change to justin biber

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The power to attract flies and cockroaches

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!