The power to control other people's actions... only when you're alone!

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The power to have super speed but only when you're wearing tight leather pants.

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The power to make hot strippers appear. The catch is that you have less than a second or else they become pedobear.

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The ability to bleed lava

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the ability to be a box of donuts in a police station

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The ability to make your fingernails grow an inch whenever you like, but only on a Tuesday

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the power to trip on shoe laces, even when they are not even your own.

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The power to troll yourself

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thepowertofixmyspacebar.

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The power rangers

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the ability to hack, but every computer you touch crashes.

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power to eat chicken raw!

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the power to animate condiments

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the power to predict the past

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the power to stuff 7 jumbo marshmallows in your mouth and say chubby bunny

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The power to read as fast as light when you can't read

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The Power to count backwards extra swiftly.

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The ability to immediately gain stage four stomach cancer.

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The ability to cause spiders to unpredictably materialize on your body, but only when you're sleeping or otherwise unaware of your surroundings.

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the power of super strength but being paralyzed when you activate the power

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The ability to ask an inappropriate question

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The power to change the color of foliage. In the name of justice.

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The power to read the entire Twilight series withou suffering brain damage, only once you have to read all four books in the same sitting.

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The power to grow cheese but only near a crazy hobo who is lactose intolerant.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!