The power to cut onion without crying.

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the power to dance in the dark

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The power to remove the pubic hair of career politicians during their first stump speech of a campaign and return it to them during their concession or acceptance speech.

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The ability to ejaculate at the most innapropriate times e.g. ur granmas funeral or your dads birthday

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the power to sizzle like bacon

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The power to be meta, but nobody thinks it's cool any more.

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The power to sit anywhere

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Laser pointer vision.

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The power to fly, but only when you're in water

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The power to have no powers

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The power to shrink by 23 centimetres every time you sneeze

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The power to go back in time and kill Hitlerr, only after you've had sex with him though

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The power to ma-FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY!!!!!

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The powerto become horny at will, but nothing can be done about it.

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The power to start laughing uncontrollably when someone says the word "ferret"

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LIME

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The power to transform you in something randomly

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ur mother so ugly she gave the devil a heart attack

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The power to seduce anyone you do not want.

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the power to steal 4 avocados in july at a supermarket at 9:37 am in your underpants without arms while a cop laughs at how stupid you look. plus while you do that a cute marshmallow comes and rapes your children.

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The power to be able to type like a hacker but you can only do it once per week and the % of correct words depends on how fat you are.

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Retractable teeth

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The power to have super strength, but only when your sleeping.

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tree powers (the power to turn into a tree)

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!