The ability to pirate every song you want without getting caught. However, they can only be Justin Bieber songs

The power to be lucky when you least need it (for example, you always have perfect toast, but you're not lucky enough to not get hit by a car)

Power to come up with an idea you have recently heard of.

The power to convince two people I am not taking sides while simultaneously taking both sides.

the power to become Homer Simpson's mom (R.I.P. her)

The power to sleepwalk only when u sleep

to be able to eat candybars and spit out diabetes

The power to be in any position, and still be comfortable.

The power to regulate your body temperature at about 98 degrees at all times.

The power to say WACKY WAVING INFLATABLE ARM FLAILING TUBE MAN - but only at peoples funerals or when taking a piss (but you uncontrolably flail your arms).

The power to fuck your moms pussy at will (her opinion or desire means nothing to the will of your useless superpower!). Moral: SONS OF SICKMAN FRAUD REJOICE!

the power to make your nipples dissappear

The power to defeat Chuck Norris but only if you can reach the speed of light

The ability to self destruct at will.

The power to make Q-Tips rain from the sky every month

the power to emit air through your mouth and nose.....

The epic power of laser pointer vision.

The ability to poop glue.

The ability to have telekinesis on February the 30th

The power to only be able to eat poop

The power to enhance your enemy's strength

The power to surround yourself in fire, but only when you're underwater.

The power to eat food a little faster. So when you are done you have to just stay there for 5 more minutes for everybody to finish

The power to think of witty comebacks 3 days too late

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!