the power to turn food into shit

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The power to write pointless superpowers

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The power to go back in time, but only as Anne Frank during the Holocaust.

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The power to assassinate already-dead leaders

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The ability to see women naked, but only if they weigh 400 pounds or more.

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The power to only be obesely fat.

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The power to chew with your tongue

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The power to see your reflection with The Mirror

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To never remember what the word if means

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The power to melt plastic by standing perfectly still for a month.

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The power to type in the wrong capatcha.

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The power to have no powers

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The power to get off the internet and do something productive

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The power to sing as well as Justin Bieber.

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The power to dream about being asleep.

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Brazilian waxing via telepathy.

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the power to grill steak for a vegetarian

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The power to transform your foreskin into rusty iron.

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The power to turn into any edible object in a restaurant.

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The ability to speak to deaf caterpillers

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The power to turn into a skittles bag

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the power to walk an inch above land but only on labor day

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The power to stretch infinitely, but you cant return to your normal state.

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The ability to know when, and which elevator door will open first.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!