The power to rule the world unless it's in real life.

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The ability to spit mouthwash

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The power to create skype chats with 50 people and subsequently annoy all of them with 200+ messages per second. unfortunately neither you nor anybody can block, silence or leave the chat

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The power to not get shit d*ck

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The power to melt plastic by standing perfectly still for a month.

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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The ability to eat whole chickens at will, but only when yr not hungry.

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the power to kill your self when you are not under any stress

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The power to shrink your dick smaller but an inability to make it larger (even back to the original size).

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The power to attract lightning strikes to yourself.

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The power to create peanut butter and jelly sandwiches without having any peanut butter.

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The power to know the word for potato in every human language... including binary (011100000110111101110100011000010111010001101111)

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the power to disinfect wigs.

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The power to see when your eyes are not closed.

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power to breath fire but only through your nose

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The power to sing as well as Justin Bieber.

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the power to have to pee on a long road trip and there are no bathrooms around.

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The power to dream about being asleep.

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the power to be FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!

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the power to grill steak for a vegetarian

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The power to transform your foreskin into rusty iron.

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The power to think of a perfectly good comeback three days later.

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The power to be number one, unless someone was better than you.

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The ability to get up from the couch.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!