the power to time travel to the same time, date, and year

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the power to speak fluent clingon, but only to the non-metally disabled

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The power to fire lasers from my nipples.

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Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

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the power to be immortal, but only temporally

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The power to turn a brainfart into a fart

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The ability to simultaneously implode and explode.

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power to fly when your underwater

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the ability to see as well as stevie wonder

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the power to make my 8==D go 8=D 8===D 8=D 8===D.

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To never remember what the word if means

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The power to die

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make your arm REALLY. fart power

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The power to erect your nipples at will.

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The power to walk up stairs faster then normal.

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The power to have super lungs, but be deathly allergic to air.

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The superpower to fly but when you reach 55 feet up you loose your power

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The ability to talk to bacteria

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The power to put your pants on, two legs at a time.

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The ability to produce a nickle each time you smack you`re face on any hard surface so hard you break at least 6 bones.

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The ability to forget how to breathe automatically.

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The power to fall down stairs sooner than you should have.

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The power to see in black and white at will.

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The power to Shape shift into Bread. No consciousness of any kind, just bread, unable to change back.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!