the power to jump, but only on any surface

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The power to think of a good super power right now.

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The ability to be heard in space

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Invisibility, when no one is looking.

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The power of absolutely flawless hindsight. -Credit to South Park

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The power to punch with the force of hulk ... But Die instintly

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The power to fire lasers from my nipples.

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the power to speak fluent clingon, but only to the non-metally disabled

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Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

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the power to be immortal, but only temporally

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The ability to simultaneously implode and explode.

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The power to turn a brainfart into a fart

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power to fly when your underwater

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The power to make police appear whilst speeding.

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the ability to see as well as stevie wonder

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the power to make my 8==D go 8=D 8===D 8=D 8===D.

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To never remember what the word if means

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The power to die

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make your arm REALLY. fart power

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The power to erect your nipples at will.

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The power to sing as well as Justin Bieber.

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The power to torture yourself and you are also immortal but will immediately die if you are not constantly tortured in a way that is 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 times worse then you can even imagine and are so terrified of dying that you would rather be tortured for all eternity.

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The superpower to fly but when you reach 55 feet up you loose your power

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The power to predict how an event could have played out, but only after the event has already happened.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!