The ability to turn into a really comfortable chair FOREVER.

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The power to not be moral man. Moral: Your thumbs down cant hurt me! Are you a fucking ass? IM THE MORAL MAN BITCH!

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The power to die on command.

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The power to lower your IQ at will.

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The power to Shape shift into Bread. No consciousness of any kind, just bread, unable to change back.

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The power to breath under water but only if you're holding your breath

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The power to fly really fast, but only in one direction (down).

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The power to turn into any edible object in a restaurant.

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The power to get a boner whenever you see a rainbow.

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the power to hovertate

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the power to make your nipples dissappear

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The power to shrink your hand only when its inside a pringles container.

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Immunity to curable diseases.

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The power to become attractive to women. but only when your with elderly people and Sarah Palin.

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The power to open any trash can lid with telekinesis if its within view.

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The power to turn everything you touched into gold. A-hem. Midas, you listening?

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The power to obey gravity

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Invisibility, when no one is looking.

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the power to speak fluent clingon, but only to the non-metally disabled

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The power to flush toilets with your mind

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the power to eat your cereal and milk with a knife

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The power to wake up one second earlier than everyone else.

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The ability to eat fruit cake without gagging.

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The power to never die unless you become sick, injured, or breathe through your nose:/

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!