Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

thumb_up thumb_down +40

the power to be Justin bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +36

The power to eat a ridiculous amount sandwiches without getting full

thumb_up thumb_down +36

To be able to commit a sexual offense but never get away with it

thumb_up thumb_down +34

The power to levitate, but only after exactly 10 hours of sleep and you have to be wearing a tin foil bathing suit.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

The power to see through glass doors.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

be a massive dickhead, like thomas bull

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The power to have super lungs, but be deathly allergic to air.

thumb_up thumb_down

the power to have to pee on a long road trip and there are no bathrooms around.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

the power to not have powers when you need them most

thumb_up thumb_down -4

The power to dream about being asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

The superpower to fly but when you reach 55 feet up you loose your power

thumb_up thumb_down -6

the power to make your nose longer by 5 centimeter on command

thumb_up thumb_down -6

The power to use your dick/tits as your cellphone at any time.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

The power to turn invisible but only different parts of the body and happens at random times of the day.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

The power to predict how an event could have played out, but only after the event has already happened.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

The power to grow a money tree once every 5 years that grows 1 penny every 10 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Shit bricks I love itttttt

thumb_up thumb_down -38

The power to poop without wiping

thumb_up thumb_down -46

The power to not go to wor unless it's a work day and to not fell pain unless you get hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

the power to have the pleasure of sex with out having to do anything to yourself or anybody else!! heckk yes haha

thumb_up thumb_down -56

the power to grill steak for a vegetarian

thumb_up thumb_down -68

The power of the most useless power and have that power.

thumb_up thumb_down +165

The power to think of a perfectly good comeback three days later.

thumb_up thumb_down +139

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!