The power to be invincible......... only when you are not in danger or harm.

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The power to read the future in a language you will never learn to understand. Moral: I read that "thy comment expects a billion red thumbs"... WTF does that mean?

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The power of having a short attention sp-- Ooh shiny!

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The ability to lose 0.000000000001 percent more skin per year.

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the power to run at the speed of light, but you have no protection from the air friction so you'll burn up and die.

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The ability to get free housing for at least 25 years after running over your neighbor.

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Immunity to curable diseases.

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the superpower of making pointless and lame jokes for which no human laughs (except crazy ones and apes)

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The power to metabolize any radioactive material in your body into arsenic.

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The power to see through walls, but not through air.

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the power to laugh at burials and cry at weddings

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the power to enter a coma.

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The power to laught at Tyler Perry's House of Payne

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the power of milking a cow aslong it is a horse that you are milking. the power to ride a bull for 0.55 nanoseconds. the power to kill 1 bacteria every 20 min. the power to spread herpes without having symptoms. the power of sharing awkward details of your bowel movements to your family at dinner. the power to lift a small cup of water. the power of falling of your face whilst knowing it will happen 20sec before. the power of inhibiting passage on the curb. the power to cause massive traffic jams without owning a car. the power of listening but not understanding. the power of understanding all languages but the one that is being spoken to you at the time.

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The power to become attractive to women. but only when your with elderly people and Sarah Palin.

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The power to be immortal until the moment that you would die.

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The ability to walk backwards... backwards.

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The "helpers" you call during emergencies when they where new and a itsy bit unorganized... misunderstandings easily showed up part 1: The Firemen: Why the hell did you call us if this place is already on fire? Call the damn Watermen THEN! The Watermen: Sorry we only receive calls and help people that are drowning, try the Firemen or something... The Cops: Crime in the city? Sorry our work is to COP OUT of stuff, Try the Police or something...

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The power to see oxygen.

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The power to shoot glue from your penis

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The power to crap without pissing.

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the power to shoot fireballs.....only when your under water

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The power to turn any object into food

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The power to have super-sonic hearing but only for one second every three hours.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!