The power to hear people's thoughts when you fap

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The power to become mentally retarded only when you get an erection.

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the ability to add edges to any circle on anything that you can write on

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The power to fight Chuck Norris... and lose.

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The power of hindsight

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The power to be afraid of horses.

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The power to make your nipples hurt when you twist them

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The power to open doors the opposite way they were made to open.

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The ability to pull open push only doors

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the superpower of making pointless and lame jokes for which no human laughs (except crazy ones and apes)

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I have the power to force farts out of my ass.

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The power to be out of the kitchen... and a woman

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The power to have one eyebrow!?

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Vanilla scented blood

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The power to laugh when you tickle your feet

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The power to be asleep while in bed

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The power to find spare change in the sofa

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the power to shrink 0.1 millimeter or grow 0.1 millimeter

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the power to time travel to the same time, date, and year

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Invisibility, when no one is looking.

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The power to think this exact sentence at the worst possible time.

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The power to teleport 13,000,000,000 lightyears but not be able to return.

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The power to fire lasers from my nipples.

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The power to surround yourself in fire, but only when you're underwater.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!