The power to surround yourself in fire, but only when you're underwater.

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The power to make instruments taste mayonnaise.

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The power to break the tip of a pencil every time you blink

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The power to turn 85 in 85 years.

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the power to extend commercial time while your in the bathroom

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The power to kill yourself.

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The power to have extreme S and M sex with Rosie O Donnell at will, you as the submissive.

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The power to know when to hold them, but not know when to fold them.

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The power to instantly make an accurate assessment on tomorrow's hangover probability well before you've consumed far more than the amount of alcohol which would guarantee it...and yet manage to forget sometimes you have this superpower.

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The power to shrink your private parts.

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The power to crap without pissing.

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The power to annoy people with saying the same meme to then(Examples: WHAT ARE THOOSE,21 etc.)...

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The power to hold your breath when you die

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The power to become attractive to women. but only when your with elderly people and Sarah Palin.

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The power to know when a painting is crooked but it only works if the painting is noticeably crooked.

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The power to see in the dark, but only when the lights are on.

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The power to create mysterious stains on your clothes.

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The power to beat up anyone but only if u sneeze first

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The power to create skype chats with 50 people and subsequently annoy all of them with 200+ messages per second. unfortunately neither you nor anybody can block, silence or leave the chat

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The power to waste time and sit around doing nothing and not helping society when you could be doing something productive

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The ability to fart, hiccup, vomit, crap, burp, laugh, cry, scream and sneeze all at the same time

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The power to give people std's during intercourse

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The power to have a great singing voice, but only in the shower,

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The power to read minds, but only that of someone who is watching Twilight.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!