The power to fuck any person of the opposite sex, but you're incredibly gay.

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The power to become THE APOCALYPSE But you are NOT FIT TO SURVIVE....

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The power to know what someone thought, after they told you.

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The power to slightly disfigure anything made out of macaroni.

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The power grow arm pit hair 5 times faster and 5 times longer than it was after shaving.

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The power to not have a superpower

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The power to make awesome school lunch for the kids!

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The ability to go to hell.

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The power of 12% levetation

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The power to tap dance awesomely, but only when wearing bunny slippers.

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The power to have 99 problems, except your dog... if she is female.

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the power to eat your cereal and milk with a knife

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The power to die

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the power to fax people with your mind

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The power to be invulnerable while sleeping

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Justin Bieber

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The ability to turn into a melting crayon for $20

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The ability to fart, hiccup, vomit, crap, burp, laugh, cry, scream and sneeze all at the same time

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The power to lose body parts by merely thinking about losing said parts coupled together with worry. I.e. I hope I don't lose my testicles.... Damn-it!!

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The power to die on the spot and not revive

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the power to photobomb random peoples photos without even knowing

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The ability to understand everything about a language after 100 years of intense studying when you could be doing something more interesting.

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The ability to be heard in space

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!