The power to die on command.

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The power to jump 100 feet in the air and have bones made of glass.

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The power to write the top rated Pointless Superpower.

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The power to make spinach taste like brussel sprouts

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the power to turn wine into water.

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The power to suck a golf ball through a garden hose

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The power to ejaculate laser beams.

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Read fortune cookies without opening them

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The power to ejaculate at command

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The power of magnetism! Aka being so magnetic that you have to live in a home completely made out of plastic, and cant go out because you either get hit by random flying frying pans and stuff literally attracted towards you, or even worse, you could get dragged towards a car in movement and become red paste. A guy with this power could not take it any more, so he bought an iron necklace and put it on... may he rest in peace...

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The power to resurrect Hitler at will, will only work if you are Jewish.

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The power to walk on water. Unless its above 0 degrees celcius.

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The power to see in black and white at will.

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The power to fall down stairs sooner than you should have.

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The power to bingewatch an entire season of a TV show in only five minutes, only to not remember any of it and have to watch it all again through normal means.

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Ability to be Austin Calhoun when hes sick

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The power to bypass capcha codes

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The power to turn everything you touch into cheese

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the power to sing like an angel... but only if the song is "friday" or "baby"

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The power to shrink boobs

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The power to say WACKY WAVING INFLATABLE ARM FLAILING TUBE MAN - but only at peoples funerals or when taking a piss (but you uncontrolably flail your arms).

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The ability to have telekinesis on February the 30th

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The power to teleport to Mars, but only when your not wearing a helmet and you must stay there for a maximum of one hour.

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The power to use a ridiculous signature that kills any chance of receving green thumbs. Moral: What you talking bout foo?

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!