The power to be Chuck Norris

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The power to not being able to go use the bathroom when you have to

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I'm a giant di

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The power to sweat profusely on cold days.

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The power to not see the troll dude in the Pointless Superpowers logo raping the words 'Pointless Superpowers'

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The power to implode when you have pee and you can't stop

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the power to hovertate

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The ability to eat your self up when out of food.

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Power to come up with an idea you have recently heard of.

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The power to only sit down and not stand up.

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The ability to invent a new language that no one else will ever learn.

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The power to fly for 2 seconds when jumping

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The power to be Chuck Norris

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The power to have your entire body totally frictionless. Except for your nipples. They have a drag coefficient of around 5 parachutes.

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the ability to only crap while on a toilet

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the power of milking a cow aslong it is a horse that you are milking. the power to ride a bull for 0.55 nanoseconds. the power to kill 1 bacteria every 20 min. the power to spread herpes without having symptoms. the power of sharing awkward details of your bowel movements to your family at dinner. the power to lift a small cup of water. the power of falling of your face whilst knowing it will happen 20sec before. the power of inhibiting passage on the curb. the power to cause massive traffic jams without owning a car. the power of listening but not understanding. the power of understanding all languages but the one that is being spoken to you at the time.

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the power to jizz money

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The power to walk on very very shallow water (

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The power to even

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the power to give yourself sunburn

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The power to break bones at will.

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the ability to add edges to any circle on anything that you can write on

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the power to hold your breath 0.01 seconds longer than the average human

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The power to permanently shorten your own penis

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!