- Pointless Super Powers

The power to bend time and space in a way that would do nothing.

The power to be first on any form of media (youtube powers).

The power to a nokia phone.

the ability to add edges to any circle on anything that you can write on

The power to become mentally retarded only when you get an erection.

The power to know when to hold them, but not know when to fold them.

the ability to make your eyes pop out.

Ability to fly 3 feet off the ground and at normal walking speed

The power to telepathically open umbrellas, only open and only umbrellas.

The power to fly whenever you sneeze.

The ability to look at someone and die.

the power to get a massive headache whenever you look at toast

The power to make a baby stop crying for 1 second

The power to know the end of every movie ever.

The power to bounce a beach ball with lightly above-average accuracy

Have god like powers but only on 30 of february

The power to have intense orgasms, but only if you choke yourself.

The power to piss as if you were in zero gravity and leave your big piss ball floating in the bathroom.

the power to turn everything you touch into gold......deja vu?

The power to metabolize any radioactive material in your body into arsenic.

The power to eat food a little faster. So when you are done you have to just stay there for 5 more minutes for everybody to finish

the power to travel 1-day into the future by waiting 24 hours

The power to smell anything you look at, but you can't turn it off.

The power to have all pointless superpowers, but only on the 12th and or 13th on january on a year that isn't 2015 or lower, but you have to be wearing nothing but purple underwear and a skanky hat.

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!