The power to use your dick/tits as your cellphone at any time.

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The power to poop without wiping

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The power of reading a book unless it has 3 or more pages.

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The power to not be killed by anything that can't kill you.

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The ability to think the thought you thought of is the same thought as another persons thought while thinking of that thought.

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The power to have incredible upper-body strength, but not have arms or legs.

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The power to autocorrect your mom.

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The involuntary power (or rather compulsion) to add "collectors edition" to everything you ever give or sell or buy. "Old bike, but in perfect condition: Collectors edition" "Hi I am selling my body "Collectors edition" "Sadly I am allergic to my German shepherd: "Collectors edition" so I have to give it away." "Hi excuse me, where do I find the "collectors edition" Milk in this store? Eh? No any kind of "collectors edition Milk is fine" Sigh... What I mean is...

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The power to see why kids love cinnamon toast crunch

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the power to be able to light yourself on fire yet not be immune to it

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The power to grow a mustache with your pubic hair

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The power to be normal and average

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The power to bingewatch an entire season of a TV show in only five minutes, only to not remember any of it and have to watch it all again through normal means.

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The power to kill someone with a knife

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The power to turn a bear into a gopher.

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The power to not write pointless powers.

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The power to sneeze whenever you think about apples.

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the power to get extra homework

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To be able to bend glass at will but if any of the glass breaks you break with it

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The power to know when your sandwitch will be ready!

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the ability to blow yourself

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The ability to quit smoking by giving yourself lung, heart, and throat cancer, coupled with enphysema.

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The power to use a ridiculous signature that kills any chance of receving green thumbs. Moral: What you talking bout foo?

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The power to sweat profusely on cold days.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!