The power to move and run faster than anything slower than yourself.

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The power to find spare change in the sofa

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The power to get a cold in the wintertime.

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the power to do a backflip but only if you break your neck in the process

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The power to breath under water, while your in a submarine.

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the power to solve any problem and answer any question or equation, you just have to read all books known to mankind.

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The power to make a watch that functions as a small phone and is named after a fruit. I would call it Applewatch.

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The power to only be obesely fat.

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The power to be invulnerable while sleeping

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The power to speak any language except the language of your people.

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The power to predict last week's lottery numbers

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The power to change the TV channel but only when the remote is in your hand

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Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

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the power to hate Raymond, and like Chris.

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the power to speak fluent clingon, but only to the non-metally disabled

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the ability to take an apple core out of the bin at will

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The power to do a wheelie on. Unicycle

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The power to revive people, however it only works on people who commit genocide.

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The power to know the answer to every question you're asked, but forgetting it instantly.

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The ability to be heard in space

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The ability to hear people's thoughts after they've already said them.

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the power to fire my lazer

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The power to stare directly at the sun

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The power to turn a brainfart into a fart

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!