- Pointless Super Powers

The power to make dead batteries appear.

The epic power of laser pointer vision.

the power of milking a cow aslong it is a horse that you are milking. the power to ride a bull for 0.55 nanoseconds. the power to kill 1 bacteria every 20 min. the power to spread herpes without having symptoms. the power of sharing awkward details of your bowel movements to your family at dinner. the power to lift a small cup of water. the power of falling of your face whilst knowing it will happen 20sec before. the power of inhibiting passage on the curb. the power to cause massive traffic jams without owning a car. the power of listening but not understanding. the power of understanding all languages but the one that is being spoken to you at the time.

The power to wish you had a power

The ability to shoot a banana from your eyebrow every time you are riding on a unicycle.

Invincibility, but you feel twice as much pain to everything

The ability to kill anyone, only if he/she is your close friend.

The power to be on mars. Not survive, not go between mars and earth. You could just instantaneously be on mars, then probably die.

The power to know when a painting is crooked but it only works if the painting is noticeably crooked.

The power to finish right before you start (If you know what I mean)

The ability to get shot, for real.

The power to shrink your private parts.

the power to slightly darken the color of tree bark upon touch

The power get everyone's attention by jerking off in public

you can shoot cars but the always hit you

the power to shrink 0.1 millimeter or grow 0.1 millimeter

Having taste buds in your anus.

the power to stare at pit bulls in the eyes and imitate them

The power to vomit every time you burp.

the ability to stop time on your watch, wall clocks, and everything that runs on battery.

Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

The power to make anything money related to disappear.

the power to be immortal, but only temporally

Justin Bieber

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!