The ability to know all the cheats/hacks for Half-Life 3.

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The power to swim on land.

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The power to crash land ANY vehicle you steer/control. "Hah finally I got a tank! OMG ITS GAINING SPEED ON ITS OWN IN FRONT OF THAT GIANT RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMP!

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Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

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The power to cum cucumbers if you are a man.

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The power to turn into a lamp once.

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the ability to shoot with 0.100% accuracy

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The power to bounce a beach ball with lightly above-average accuracy

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the power to become phil collins, but only after peter gabrial left

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The power to shrink boobs by merely touching them.

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The ability to wake up at 3:45 am if you were sleeping, and not be able to fall assleeP again for 20 minutes.

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The power to write about pointless superpowers.

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The ability to not slip on banana peels

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The power to ejaculate needles.

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The power to have any video game that you want along with its system but if you ever die just once you can never play that game again even if you get a new one.

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The power to lick your own elbow

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Ability to emit a low-level light, but only when standing near a candle.

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THE POWER TO NOT HAVE SUPERPOWERS! ...............ever

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To be able to catch a speeding bullet with your head.

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The power to see everything 3D without 3D glasses

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The power to understand that if you type or read at this section, then it is probably because it means something to you... Moral: That is almost a superpower... I mean wow pointless makes a point which is pointless, and a pointless point with a point is... anyway I just divided by infinite loop. Cant say that is far away from zero which by itself is basically a circle... Damn im good! (just for that final line im gonna get thumbed down, its worth it though.

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The ability to gain more intelligence every second, while whacking your head on a pole, knocking out your brain cells.

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The Power To Right Your Own Power On This Website.

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The power to shrink smaller than oxygen molecules.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!