the power to stop masturbating every day

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teleport to the place where you stand

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The ability to invent a new language that no one else will ever learn.

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the ability to die on command

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The ability to stop only ONE bullet and ONE bullet only

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The power of having a short attention sp-- Ooh shiny!

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That F-ucking ass hole that keeps typing morals all the time, he is F`n annoying! Moral: You thought I was a hater eh? Hahaha got you there ;) And if that is not the most pointless pointlessity in the world, then... I give shit about thumbs ups really, they just discovered that I have an bad allergy to dust, and thus I have been unable to work out for TWO YEARS! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! Me so happy, me love you long time. That is what women usually say to me, instead that they change the happy with horny... and replace you with someone else`s name. Self Irony... such a delight... and maybe I am lying... who knows... who wants to know? Nobody? :( sob... excellent! :D Damn CATCHPHRA! I SWEAR I USED TO HAVE A KITTEN THAT WAS TWICE THE SIZE OF TEXAS!

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The power to open doors with your bare hands

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The ability to lose 0.000000000001 percent more skin per year.

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The ability to not drop anything ...when you're not holding anything

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The power to grow the pinky nail of your right hand

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Superhuman strength and endurance but only when sleeping

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The power to make your nipples hurt when you twist them

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whenever you want to sleep an anime starts happening in real life

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The ability to walk on your hands because your feet have nails in them.

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The ability to know when, and which elevator door will open first.

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The power to cause weeds to grow twice as fast as usual in your bed of prized petunias.

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The ability to laugh one's ass off.

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The power to deconstruct molecules, but only when they're part of an object with a volume of 1 cubic millimeter.

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The ability to create bruises on your body but not know where they came from, and then poke them.-.Jack

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the power to think of useless super powere like this one

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Invincibility, but you feel twice as much pain to everything

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The power to to type Pointless Super Powers

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the power of the home depot lisp... and as an added bonus the power of how the universe works lisp

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!