The power to find any film directed by Uwe Boll entertaining.

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The power to pick any lock as long as its open

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Shoppers today in the mattress department we just started a great promotion.

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THE SUPER FRIENDS HEROES LEAGUE OF SUPER HEROES OF LESSER USEFUL HEROES! KNIGHT FARTSALOT!: Fear my methane! You and me in one small room for 3 days and you will faint for sure! Uncle Diabeetush: Save their parents Captain! Ill take care of their children! Captain Novolin: I have great sugar level control! Help me! Evil Mistress Sugarpie is too sweet! Runald MagnifiCient Donalds: HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR WOOOOO! I keep American people from starvation! Remember kids less than 250 pounds counts as starvation! And their LEADER... MORAL MAN!: The hell am I introducing myself here for? Damn you Subconscious! How can you expect people to understand my genius of putting myself here! They are morons! Oh... hi everybody.. wazzup?

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The ability to read your own mind

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The power to make Dylan Zona trip on everything when he walks and falls face first I to a pile of shit

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The power to fall without screaming.

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The power to make lipstick fly

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The power to know everyone's name before you meet them but you say it wrong every time

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The power to have anything you want that is free.

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The power to invent things as soon as you see them

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The ability to turn things into gold, but only when the material the item is made of is more valuable than gold.

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the power to convert oxygen and glucose to water and carbon dioxide every time you breathe.

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The power to see the past.

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The power to grow a mustache with your pubic hair

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The power to speak in only anime openings

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The pointless superpower to miss moral man. He was a dick.

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the power to become Homer Simpson's mom (R.I.P. her)

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The power to lick any telephone pole to call somebody in the winter.

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The power to like Justin Bieber

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The power to cum out of your finger tips

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The power to suck a golf ball through a garden hose

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The power to self destruct

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The power to impress a mentally disabled person by doing absolutely nothing

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!