The power to kill anyone who is 4 seconds away from certain death

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The power to teleport yourself anywhere you want except for your major organs.

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the power of losing and getting in 2nd place or 3th. the power of clearing your mind only for it to stay blank. the power of riding a horse really well aslong as you think it is a cow. the power of breathing AIR. the power of bellyflopping cement. the power of reading ancient arameîc. the power of speaking perfect gibberish.

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the power to get a massive headache whenever you look at toast

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Super Arians. Moral: If you think of it, Super Sayan is an acronym for Super Asian, are blonde blue eyed Asians superiors? DRAGON BALL JAPANAZEE!

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The power to be special just like everyone else.

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Infinite knowledge when dead

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The power to smell bacon and/or ham at 3 o clock in the afternoon on the second Saturday of March

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The power to forget what your superpower is

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To Turn Thin To Macho but only in left arm

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the power to jizz money

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The power to create a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that does nothing.

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Super strength that works for a millisecond.

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The ability to perceive the presence of light.... with your ears. (warning, blindness may effect abilities potency.)

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The ability to eat fruit cake without gagging.

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The power to make anything money related to disappear.

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The ability to unknowingly untaim domestic animals.

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The power to win any game against a 5-year-old.

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the power to shoot what your looking at but only when your looking at watermelons

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The power to instantaneously fall asleep but only when tomorrow is a day off.

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The power to make a woman be quiet but only during sex.

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the power to freeze people only when it's cold

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The ability to pee while standing up for men

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!