Infinite knowledge when dead

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Justin Bieber

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The power to be able to taste shit from miles away.

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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the ability to stop time on your watch, wall clocks, and everything that runs on battery.

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The power to fly really fast but only in closets.

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what do you call someone who never says hello............................ a shy person

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The power to phase through walls whenever there is a door nearby leading to the next room

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Ability to emit a low-level light, but only when standing near a candle.

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Liam Brudenell

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The power to know the word for potato in every human language... including binary (011100000110111101110100011000010111010001101111)

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The power to cry sulfuric acid.

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The power to torture yourself and you are also immortal but will immediately die if you are not constantly tortured in a way that is 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 times worse then you can even imagine and are so terrified of dying that you would rather be tortured for all eternity.

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The power to be any animal you want, but only if you are that specific animal that you want to be.

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the power to stand straight but only when you bend over

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The ability to turn into a slightly damp sponge

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The power to get cancer all the time. And strokes.

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The power to sit on a pile of change and add it up.

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The Power To Fly Without control

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The power to blink, but only if polline gets in your eye.

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The power to change your eye color.

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The power to wake up every morning in a corn field 36miles away from home

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The power to find any film directed by Uwe Boll entertaining.

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The left part of your body is fireproof but the right side is not

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!