The power to have extreme S and M sex with Rosie O Donnell at will, you as the submissive.

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the power to shoot fireballs.....only when your under water

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The power to hold your breath when you die

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The power to have super hearing but only works when you are dead.

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The power to laugh so hard you can't breath at "Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?" Jokes.

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The power to do a wheelie on. Unicycle

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The Power to fart extremely loudly every time your in a crowd.

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The ability to open a door that was already open.

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the power to open doors that are unlocked

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The power to fly, but only in microgravity.

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The power to be able to taste shit from miles away.

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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the power of losing and getting in 2nd place or 3th. the power of clearing your mind only for it to stay blank. the power of riding a horse really well aslong as you think it is a cow. the power of breathing AIR. the power of bellyflopping cement. the power of reading ancient arameîc. the power of speaking perfect gibberish.

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The power to melt butter with your mind when its hot outside

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boo

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The power to phase through walls whenever there is a door nearby leading to the next room

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The ability to wake up at 3:45 am if you were sleeping, and not be able to fall assleeP again for 20 minutes.

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Ability to emit a low-level light, but only when standing near a candle.

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The Power to Die if you are dead

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The power to know the word for potato in every human language... including binary (011100000110111101110100011000010111010001101111)

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the power to stand straight but only when you bend over

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The power to change the color of your saliva.

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The power to get cancer all the time. And strokes.

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the power to consume yourself and use it as food (dosn't remove pain and will cause medical condisions)

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!