The power to remove your foreskin at any given time

thumb_up thumb_down +42

The power to use a rectangular prism to generate electricity to go on a square-shaped object full of pixels and create things with it.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

The power to instantaneously fall asleep but only when tomorrow is a day off.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

the power to freeze people only when it's cold

thumb_up thumb_down +40

The power to do anything else but worship me. Moral: I DEMAND SATISFACTION! I mean I dont need it, I just want you to do something useful with your life for once... That practically makes me into a saint... Aww.... Steve Jobs No More... LOOOOOOOLLLIPOP!

thumb_up thumb_down +36

The power to lick your elbow.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

The power to turn on electronic devices without pressing the switch, but only when you're touching the switch.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110000 01101111 01110111 01100101 01110010 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110010 01100101 01100001 01100100 00100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001

thumb_up thumb_down +18

The power to get off the internet and do something productive

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The ability to turn into a really comfortable chair FOREVER.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The power to know the word for potato in every human language... including binary (011100000110111101110100011000010111010001101111)

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The Power of Anti-Sex

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The power to shit diamonds, but only into magical underwear that turn diamonds into shit.

thumb_up thumb_down

the power to have to pee on a long road trip and there are no bathrooms around.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

The power to never receive pop-ups when surfing porn, but only on gay porn

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Th power to have a 10 minute delayed reaction, so if you stub your toe 10 minutes later you scream like a f***nut

thumb_up thumb_down -42

The power to poop without wiping

thumb_up thumb_down -58

The power to pick any lock as long as its open

thumb_up thumb_down +125

The ability to digest three types of earth elementals

thumb_up thumb_down +117

The power to lift animate objects in the same direction.

thumb_up thumb_down +107

The power to smell people's moods

thumb_up thumb_down +105

The power to climb trees really fast, but they shrink when you do.

thumb_up thumb_down +101

The power to piss your pants whenever you want.

thumb_up thumb_down +101

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!