SHAPESHIFT - only into a guinee pig

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The power to be an ugly barnacle who is so ugly that everyone dies.

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The ability to get anyone answer your messages when the answer starts: What the...

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The power to shrink your hand only when its inside a pringles container.

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The power to impress a mentally disabled person by doing absolutely nothing

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That F-ucking ass hole that keeps typing morals all the time, he is F`n annoying! Moral: You thought I was a hater eh? Hahaha got you there ;) And if that is not the most pointless pointlessity in the world, then... I give shit about thumbs ups really, they just discovered that I have an bad allergy to dust, and thus I have been unable to work out for TWO YEARS! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! Me so happy, me love you long time. That is what women usually say to me, instead that they change the happy with horny... and replace you with someone else`s name. Self Irony... such a delight... and maybe I am lying... who knows... who wants to know? Nobody? :( sob... excellent! :D Damn CATCHPHRA! I SWEAR I USED TO HAVE A KITTEN THAT WAS TWICE THE SIZE OF TEXAS!

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The abilty to give yourself 0 subscribers on youtube.

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The power to be constantly reminded of the game

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The power to grab a cup of purple drank, Then drink it

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The power to look like Stephen Hawking but have none of his intelligence.

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The power to regenerate, but only small cuts

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No matter what you eat, always shit peanut butter.

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the ability to stare at a cactus for a week without being bored

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The power to gain an erection at will but only in front of your mother

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The power to think this exact sentence at the worst possible time.

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The power to hole 1 inch putts.

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The ability to breath in a complete vacuum, but not anywhere else

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The power of women's rights.

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The ability to die on command.

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The power to turn into a 90 year old woman with 20+ diseases

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The power to shit out toilet paper.

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The power to turn everything you touched into gold. A-hem. Midas, you listening?

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The power to completely understand Monty Python sketches.

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the power of the home depot lisp... and as an added bonus the power of how the universe works lisp

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!