The Power of your footstep sounding like a horse gallop

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The power to cash cheques that are only ever made out to someone else.

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The power to wish you had a power

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Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

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the power of losing and getting in 2nd place or 3th. the power of clearing your mind only for it to stay blank. the power of riding a horse really well aslong as you think it is a cow. the power of breathing AIR. the power of bellyflopping cement. the power of reading ancient arameîc. the power of speaking perfect gibberish.

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The power to be Omnipotent and create a rock too heavy for yourself to lift.

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The power to understand irony.

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The power to read minds but only when you're alone

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Normal handsome man by day. Moral: Man by night.

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The power to feel like you're gonna sneeze forever

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the power to fax people with your mind

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The power to hear in the dark.

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The power to predict last week's lottery numbers

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the power to open doors that are unlocked

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the power to like charlie

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the power to be immortal, but only temporally

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The power to create a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that does nothing.

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The ability to perceive the presence of light.... with your ears. (warning, blindness may effect abilities potency.)

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The power to be able to make something usable but have it disappear when you try to use it.

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The ability to unknowingly untaim domestic animals.

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The power to ejaculate out of your ears once daily

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The power to have any video game that you want along with its system but if you ever die just once you can never play that game again even if you get a new one.

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The power to make a woman be quiet but only during sex.

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!