The power to shut me the F UCK UP! Moral: Ironically I have not said a single word for hours... so that would be impossible... Now, if you hear MY voice when you read this, then you are either psychic or psychotic, which is not that different if you ask me... Now.. if you hear YOUR voice inside your head, then YOU SHUT THE FRUCK UP AND GET LOST! :D :D :D :D :D :D (A MoralMan Original, now this one was pretty cool)

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The power to teleport stupid people away from you - but they teleport to YOUR HOUSE.

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The power to fold paper seven times

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The abiltity to grow an additional 4 fingered hand from your inner thigh

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The power to fry and suffer harder than anyone when lit on fire.

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The ability to type with your penis on your smart phone during a video chat.

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Listen to Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black everywhere you go.

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The power to turn water into ice but only in sub zero temperatures

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The power to turn cake into pie

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The power to take edible shits.

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The power to become the worlds most famous necrophilia pørnstar after dying.

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The power to cause weeds to grow twice as fast as usual in your bed of prized petunias.

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the power to read your own mind

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The power to have all pointless superpowers, but only on the 12th and or 13th on january on a year that isn't 2015 or lower, but you have to be wearing nothing but purple underwear and a skanky hat.

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you can summon raccoons, but all they do is piss on your shit

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The power to bounce a beach ball with lightly above-average accuracy

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The power to make a woman make you a sandwich

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the power to write about pointless super powers in universes that nothing exists.

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The power to let everyone around you make a troll face but you are the only one who is able too see it.

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The power to get hard at will.

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The power to be able to vote for Donald Trump

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The power to change the temperature by 1 degree, once every leap year.

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The ability to keep a song stuck in your head overnight

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The ability to fly for 14 seconds every decade.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!