The power to blame it on the Boogie

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Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

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The power to cash cheques that are only ever made out to someone else.

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The power to die at will

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Invisibility, when no one is looking.

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The power to click the left button of your mause, only by thinking of how you click it,while your finger is on the button.

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The power to be mario for 10 seconds then you vomit shit for 17 hours. this happens every week.

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The power to fuck any person of the opposite sex, but you're incredibly gay.

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The power to teleport yourself anywhere you want except for your major organs.

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The power to defeat any ant you may encounter.

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The power to teleport homeless people to the sun

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the power to animate condiments

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the ability to do see through any girl's clothes but you must be singing a Demi Lovato song at 76.786 Decibels EXACTLY!

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The power to create shit

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the ability to take an apple core out of the bin at will

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the ability to see as well as stevie wonder

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The power that when you sit down you fall through the seat

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The ability to perceive the presence of light.... with your ears. (warning, blindness may effect abilities potency.)

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The power to always know the exact time.

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The power to levitate 3cm off the ground when no one is watching

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The power to win any game against a 5-year-old.

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The ability to change the color of your socks while wearing shoes

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The power to lick your balls.

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The power to turn into the Hulk, but only when you are asleep.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!