- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

The power to teleport stupid people away from you - but they teleport to YOUR HOUSE.

Reversed telepathy, everyone can hear your thoughts.

The power to fly simular to a paper air plane. OH SHIT BIRD SHIT COMING IN.

The power to make YouTube subscribers disappear.

Listen to Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black everywhere you go.

The power to turn cake into pie

The power to take edible shits.

The power to cause weeds to grow twice as fast as usual in your bed of prized petunias.

the power to have 20/20 vision only when wearing aviators

the power to read your own mind

The power to have all pointless superpowers, but only on the 12th and or 13th on january on a year that isn't 2015 or lower, but you have to be wearing nothing but purple underwear and a skanky hat.

you can summon raccoons, but all they do is piss on your shit

The power to bounce a beach ball with lightly above-average accuracy

The power to make a woman make you a sandwich

the power to write about pointless super powers in universes that nothing exists.

The power to let everyone around you make a troll face but you are the only one who is able too see it.

The power to get hard at will.

The power to change the temperature by 1 degree, once every leap year.

The power to be able to vote for Donald Trump

The power to Rage Against The Machine

The ability to fly for 14 seconds every decade.

The power to run half as fast as whoever is chasing you.

The ability to make any amount of money appear in your wallet. The money is in the form of the Neptunarian Dollar, which has no value anywhere on Earth.

The power to ejaculate needles.

Pointless Super Powers