The power think five times slower.

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The power to know everything, but then forget every 7 seconds

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The power get everyone's attention by jerking off in public

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The power to smell inside of your own butt.

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The power to wear the same clothes every day without them getting dirty.

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The power to die every time you are standing on something.

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The power to speed up time moments before you are about to die.

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The ability to headbutt yourself in the face.

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The ability to stretch your arm towards an object thats in a reachable distance then clench your hand around the object and pull it to yourself.

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The power to whipe the floor with your face.

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the power to have 20/20 vision only when wearing aviators

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The Power of your footstep sounding like a horse gallop

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The power to not care.

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The power to eat the same food but you have to throw it up first.

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you can summon raccoons, but all they do is piss on your shit

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The power to kill someone with a knife

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The power to swear if you do not believe in a God. Moral: Meh... if I post anything against God here you guys will thumb me down and that matters... it matters so much that I will use the section over to shit talk God... yeah... thumb me down already fearing zealots... show me your true power (being Gods bitches) now that is pointless power!

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The power to put your finger in your brain, but doing so kills you and achieves nothing.

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The power to cum cucumbers if you are a man.

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The power to bounce a beach ball with lightly above-average accuracy

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The power to die using only your mind.

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Absolute Defeatability- the power to be defeated by any and all things physical and nonphysiological.

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The power to spit so hard and fast that you hit yourself in the back of the head every time... and it can only be used once, because its so hard it goes trough everything...(thus hits you in the skull duh) including your skull... Moral: Remember kids! Protect, Serve and Survive, and ask your mommy and daddy why they make the sexytime... their response may be pretty interesting...

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The ability to turn your fingers into angry bears without you being able to control them

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!