Supreme pre-mature ejaculation.

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The power to read the future in a language you will never learn to understand. Moral: I read that "thy comment expects a billion red thumbs"... WTF does that mean?

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The ability to stub your toe on every object near you when walking.

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The power to see through windows

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The power to quote memes randomly

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The power to walk on very very shallow water (

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the power to do nothing

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Have all the superpowers there is in one milisecond every 100 years (If your still alive)

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the power to extend commercial time while your in the bathroom

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That F-ucking ass hole that keeps typing morals all the time, he is F`n annoying! Moral: You thought I was a hater eh? Hahaha got you there ;) And if that is not the most pointless pointlessity in the world, then... I give shit about thumbs ups really, they just discovered that I have an bad allergy to dust, and thus I have been unable to work out for TWO YEARS! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! Me so happy, me love you long time. That is what women usually say to me, instead that they change the happy with horny... and replace you with someone else`s name. Self Irony... such a delight... and maybe I am lying... who knows... who wants to know? Nobody? :( sob... excellent! :D Damn CATCHPHRA! I SWEAR I USED TO HAVE A KITTEN THAT WAS TWICE THE SIZE OF TEXAS!

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To be able to generate cancer at will

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The power to uncontrollably fart when your with your girlfriend

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The power of omnipotence and omniscience but you work in such mysterious ways that youre both invisible and intangible and without will to do skwat. Oh wait that sounds like...

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the power to break the nib of a pencil so that its pointless

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The power think five times slower.

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The power to completely understand Monty Python sketches.

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The power to be immortal until the moment that you would die.

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The power to die every time you are standing on something.

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The power to die at will

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The ability to pull Bleach Flavored lighter fluid out of your ass every time you see a modern feminist or a Jacob Satorious video

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The power uncontrollably self destruct when you feel safe.

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power to age faster

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The power to make anyone you see look surprise.

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The ability to look at someone and die.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!