The power to make money appear, but only when you don't want or need anything

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The power to shrink boobs. -Big C

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The power to see 3-D movies in 2-D.

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The power to ramble on and on endlessly with no end in sight with the most inane of thoughts that no one can begin to guess when they will end or what the value or goal of anything so long-winded might be until you find yourself questioning your very desire to go living if you are only going to continue rambling.

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The ability to get anyone answer your messages when the answer starts: What the...

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The power to have a V8

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the power to make plants grow at a slightly excelled rate when lying on top of them .... you also smell like shit, all the time.

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The ability to stop only ONE bullet and ONE bullet only

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the power to extend commercial time while your in the bathroom

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The ability to produce snot twenty times faster than normal.

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The power to jump 1 centimeter higher than you usually can

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The ability to fly away, but there is a 99.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% chance that you will get hit by a plane while taking off.

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The ability to breath in a complete vacuum, but not anywhere else

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the power to turn everything you touch into gold......deja vu?

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The power of hindsight

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to make your bowel work backwards

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The power to shoot glue from your penis

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The power to journey into the future of the past.

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the power to sleep while standing!

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The power to lose body parts by merely thinking about losing said parts coupled together with worry. I.e. I hope I don't lose my testicles.... Damn-it!!

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The ability to see into the present.

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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the power to catch em' all

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boo

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!