The ability to find the sharpest object in an given drawer, by having it puncture your hand. Every time.

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The power of hindsight

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The power to speak in languages that no one around you understands.

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The power to eat sandwiches and never get full

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The ability to die, when you say: "death powers activate!" . You can only do it once though.

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The power to deconstruct molecules, but only when they're part of an object with a volume of 1 cubic millimeter.

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The power to row 1 inch shorter but can't grow 1 inch taller

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The power to smell water.

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The power to fuck any person of the opposite sex, but you're incredibly gay.

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The power to eat 2 hotdogs in the same bun

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The power to take edible shits.

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the power to walk on land.

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The power to have all pointless superpowers, but only on the 12th and or 13th on january on a year that isn't 2015 or lower, but you have to be wearing nothing but purple underwear and a skanky hat.

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The ability to sweat poop.

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The power to tolerate Justin Bieber.

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The power grow arm pit hair 5 times faster and 5 times longer than it was after shaving.

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The power to handle the truth. Moral: Because with the exception of a few good men... YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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The power to read minds but only when you're alone

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the power to turn food into shit

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The power to read terms and conditions

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The power to shrink boobs by merely touching them.

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The power to die after life has left you old and decrepit.

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The ability to jump

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The power to spit so hard and fast that you hit yourself in the back of the head every time... and it can only be used once, because its so hard it goes trough everything...(thus hits you in the skull duh) including your skull... Moral: Remember kids! Protect, Serve and Survive, and ask your mommy and daddy why they make the sexytime... their response may be pretty interesting...

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!