No matter what you eat, always shit peanut butter.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

The power to make everyone else blink around you when you blink.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

The power to die at will

thumb_up thumb_down +94

The power to gain an erection at will but only in front of your mother

thumb_up thumb_down +94

Liam Brudenell

thumb_up thumb_down +94

The power to open jam jar lids, however stuck they are.

thumb_up thumb_down +94

The power to fly as long as your feet the ground

thumb_up thumb_down +90

The power to detect homosexuality in animals. ~scramjat

thumb_up thumb_down +90

the power to never be late to work, but only when you're unemployed.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

The ability to know any language but only after learning it.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

The power to eat 2 hotdogs in the same bun

thumb_up thumb_down +86

The power to give the wrong directions

thumb_up thumb_down +84

the power to give yourself cancer that you can't get rid of

thumb_up thumb_down +84

the ability to turn off your super ability.....

thumb_up thumb_down +84

The power to teleport......one nanometer every million years

thumb_up thumb_down +82

The Power to enjoy Justin Beiber's music....

thumb_up thumb_down +82

the power to poo out of your eyeballs and they burn when you do it

thumb_up thumb_down +80

The ability to control dairy products

thumb_up thumb_down +80

The power to fuck your moms pussy at will (her opinion or desire means nothing to the will of your useless superpower!). Moral: SONS OF SICKMAN FRAUD REJOICE!

thumb_up thumb_down +78

The power to turn any object into food

thumb_up thumb_down +76

The power to have any girl as your girl friend but they turn ugly

thumb_up thumb_down +72

The power to burn the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

the power of losing and getting in 2nd place or 3th. the power of clearing your mind only for it to stay blank. the power of riding a horse really well aslong as you think it is a cow. the power of breathing AIR. the power of bellyflopping cement. the power of reading ancient arameîc. the power of speaking perfect gibberish.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

The power to pause time and control every person you touch while the time is paused

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!