the power to be in AA.

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The ability to understand everything about a language after 100 years of intense studying when you could be doing something more interesting.

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The power to drink clean water (because i think dirty water is ewwy)

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The power to sing like Justin Beiber.

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The power to induce vomiting after a crazy junk food spree.

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The power to have razor sharp facial hair.

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The ability to build a wall... wait a minute!

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The ability to turn into an apple--but not be able to turn back.

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The power to give others the power to give others the same power at will.

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the power to teleport but then immediatly cr@p your pants

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The Power to Die if you are dead

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The to ejaculate anytime but only when your mom appears in front of you.

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the power to make hate films against Islam... theres no space for bigots and jerks on this Earth.

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The power to vomit pizza and root beer chunks at will.

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The power to create a vaporization beam that removes one atom per second.

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The power to eat soup with a fork.

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The power to ejaculate napalm

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Read fortune cookies without opening them

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The power to ejaculate laser beams.

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the ability to see one-half of a second into the future, but only activates while sneezing.

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The power to make coma patients bark.

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the ability to dice a watermelon by looking at it but when you eat any of the diced watermelon a magic watermelon grows in your stomach and you look fat

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The power to moves in slow motion.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!