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Clarksonisms
Quoted Coworkers
Shit Brix
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to create balloons out of anywhere on your body, and twist them into whatever you look at.
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+73
The power to think of witty comebacks 3 days too late
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+71
the power to hold your breath 0.01 seconds longer than the average human
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+71
The power to see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch
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+71
The power to absolutely nothing
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+69
Acid tears.
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+69
The superpower to get your comment in the tops because you mistyped "the pewer to type backwards" backwards. Its a funny story actually, you people liked it so much that it skyrocketed past the correctly spelled ones and turned out top.. 40 or something? I am being modest here... just go into the popular sections and take a look. I would have told you it was me who wrote that super pewer but you would not really believe me would you? By the way thanks, it made me laugh, and I hope that is the same reason you thumbed it up, you people are awesome! Moral: It was me. (I mistyped the word mistyped itself which is grammatically incorrect by itself, now beam me up Scotty!)
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+67
The ability to read. No wait that is actually helpful. Never mind.
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+67
The power to turn Dollars into Pennies
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+67
The ability to police irony
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+67
The power to die whenever you feel the slightest bit joyful, happy excited, etc.
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+65
the power to animate condiments
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+65
The ability to live forever but age quicker.
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+63
The power to make only right turns. take THAT nascar!
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+63
The power to have a great singing voice, but only in the shower,
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+61
The ability to change the color of your socks while wearing shoes
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+61
The power to be asleep while in bed
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+61
the power to jizz money
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+59
The ability to not slip on banana peels
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+55
the power to get sick
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+55
the power to spit long distances at inconvenient times
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+53
The power to make your left hand glow whenever you put your right hand up your ass.
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+53
The power to close your eyes and drift off to a state of unconsciousness.
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+51
The power to win any game against a 5-year-old.
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+51
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Pointless Super Powers
A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!