- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

the power to Shoop Da whoop out of your bum hole

The power to shoot liqiud gold ever 3-6 years only when you come across jesus.

the power to lower my blood presure to dangerous levels

The power to bingewatch an entire season of a TV show in only five minutes, only to not remember any of it and have to watch it all again through normal means.

The ability to see everything in black and white.

The power to walk on very very shallow water (

The power to not respond to gravity (only when you're in space).

Harnessing Homoeopathic wisdom.

The power to turn your pants into underwear, but only when you're wearing them.

The power to see why kids love cinnamon toast crunch

The power to open doors with your bare hands

The Ability to shit studs once a week

The power to make your self drunk using only your mind, but only while your driving your kids to school

EntirelyTooManyNapkins Man

The power of immortality, but only when you try to commit suicide.

The power to run at 0.5mph

The ability to transform into anything... gradually, over the course of a week.

The power to ride a unicorn without a horn that can't fly.

The power to like this power

The ability to innoculate against all non-existent diseases

The ability to lift small objects with your mind, but only if you are touching them.

the power to detect when there is oxygen near you

The power to be mario for 10 seconds then you vomit shit for 17 hours. this happens every week.

The ability to breathe and swallow at the same time.

Pointless Super Powers