The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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The ability to make slightly off colored flags of any country that can not be used in combat.

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01010100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110000 01101111 01110111 01100101 01110010 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110100 01111001 01110000 01100101 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 00101110 (The power to type in binary)

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the power to give your mom amazing orgasms by doing her analy

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The power to turn on electronic devices without pressing the switch, but only when you're touching the switch.

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the power to sit

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The power to quote Castlevania quotes all day... yelling them out on the streets! Moral: WHAT IS A MAN! People look at me and laugh... and moral man struts past... he has never been so awesome before... They see me rollin... they laughing... they lovin... and I hope nobody calls the ambulance because I am crazy... in love... I can see it in your eyes... I can see it in your smiiileeee...

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The power to shrink smaller than oxygen molecules.

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The power to change the color of your saliva.

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The power to eat soap.

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The ability to always wake up in time but never fall asleep in time.

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The power to be the most amazing singer in the world, but only when nobody can hear you.

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Power To Throw Power Booger In Every 5 Seconds

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The power to look at this thing - Browny the dow

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the power to win any shit eating contest.

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The power to laugh in Japanese.

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The power to make someone hate crayons by poking your left eyebrow while looking at them.

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The power to grow your own armpit hair at a rate of 1 ft/day, and change its color at will.

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The power to do everything that you can do.

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the power to turn into toilet paper but not back

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The power to breathe through your mouth when you have a stuffy nose

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The power to make your breath smell like vanilla at will.

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The power to look like yourself

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The ability to watch movies in 1D

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!