the power to Shoop Da whoop out of your bum hole

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the ability to glow in the light.

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The power to recharge batteries by licking them.

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to walk 5 miles at 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 miles per hour

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To turn instantly water proof while eating a burito

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The power to teleport, but in doing so you lose a limb.

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The power to poop whenever you want.

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the power of not being able to feel pain during constipation

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The ability to cut your stool in to tiny pieces smaller than a pea

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The power to read your own mind

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yo mama

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to be able to fly but only 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000001 millimetres of the ground and not even feel or look like your floating

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The power to tell what a person has eaten by the smell of their farts

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The power to whant badly to have kids but you give birth to massive amounts of spiders, ducklings and some undefined type of small feline instead of childen

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The power to disintegrate yourself

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The power to defeat any ant you may encounter.

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The power to cash cheques that are only ever made out to someone else.

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The power to make a woman make you a sandwich

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The power to write pointless superpowers

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The power to fuck any person of the opposite sex, but you're incredibly gay.

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the power to spit long distances at inconvenient times

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The power to go back in time, but only as Anne Frank during the Holocaust.

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the power to predict what you are going to post on facebook

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the power to open doors that are unlocked

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!